I’m standing on my bare feet in the grass: it is 7 degrees and I feel a strong wind. I’m standing there together with 16 colleagues I didn’t know a few hours ago, and we listen to instructions and watch to the challenge displayed in front of us. I’m being selected for a talent program around Thought Leadership organized by Frank Wammes and I could have known: we will be challenged to go out of our comfort zone…. Hence I feel a bit nervous, my belly is telling me to listen well: am I really going to do this? I guess so, I also feel strong.

My personal growth step was a result of a few triggers during these 2 kick off days. One of these came from my colleague who knew me only maximum 2 hours, and gave me feedback about initial branding perception: “you are a challenger”, she said. It felt spot on…  It is true that I often ask questions challenging something or someone. I do this with intention to change something for the group, the organization or to help others. The thing is: I challenge myself the most. And I realize in an exercise the next day, that the balance is wrong: I challenge myself too often, and I’m bad in expressing my boundaries.

The last 3 years I grew a lot as a mom. Other parents will relate: it is one rollercoaster of adapting, listening, adjusting and trying things out. There are several moments of no control, no schedule, your planning will be upside down. And you have an easier life if you adjust and accept it. As a parent you put yourself second almost all the time. I did put myself first sometimes (to catch up with sleep, to mentally recharge), but I did this to survive. Not with the true believe I’m worth it to be put first. And the thing is: I apply this behavior also at my work. I adjust easily when a colleague last minute rejects (for the 4^th time!)  a meeting I carefully prepared. I respect complaints and want to solve them. I believed others were more worth than me. And this is going to change now.

I broke with this believe, and I start reminding myself that I am worth it to be put first. Will you see some change? I think so. Will I become too selfish? Maybe. (Somewhere in my head this fear is still singing around.) So if you want to give me feedback on this point the coming period, I’m open to it! I find it scary though…  

This program is indeed about challenging myself. Only when I overcome barriers, I will grow. When I look back at these 2 days of kick off, I know that this ‘overcoming a barrier’ part goes best when you listen to yourself. And it is also about the group dynamics. Together we created a safe place where we can try things out, share and receive feedback, go out of our comfort zone; AND respect and support each other if you face a (personal) boundary. I’m really thankful for that.